How To Cook A Thanksgiving Turkey.

Step 1: Go buy a turkey
Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey
Step 3: Put turkey in the oven
Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey
Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens
Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink
Step 7: Turn oven the on
Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky
Step 9: Turk the bastey
Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get
Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer
Step 12: Glass yourself o pour of whiskey
Step 13: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours
Step 14: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 15: Floor the turkey up off of the pick
Step 16: Turk the carvey
Step 17: Get yourself another scottle of botch
Step 18: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
Step 19: Bless the saying, pass and eat out

TWAS THE NIGHT OF THANKSGIVING

Twas the Night of Thanksgiving
But I just couldn't sleep
I tried counting backwards,
I tried counting sheep.

The leftovers beckoned -
The dark meat and white
But I fought the temptation
With all of my might

Tossing and turning
With anticipation
The thought of a snack
Became infatuation.

So, I raced to the kitchen,
Flung open the door
And gazed at the fridge,
Full of goodies galore.

Gobbled up turkey
And buttered potatoes,
Pickles and carrots,
Beans and tomatoes.

I felt myself swelling
So plump and so round,
'Til all of a sudden,
I rose off the ground.

I crashed through the ceiling,
Floating into the sky
With a mouthful of pudding
And a handful of pie.

But, I managed to yell
As i soared past the trees....
Happy eating to all -
Pass the cranberries, please.

May your stuffing be tasty,
May your turkey be plump.
May your potatoes 'n gravy
Have nary a lump,

May your yams be delicious
May your pies take the prize,
May your thanksgiving dinner
Stay off of your thighs.

I love thanksgiving!